Holy Matrimony

Matrimony
The Second Vatican Counsil said: "In virtue of the sacrament of matrimony by which they signify and share the mystery of the unity and faithful love between Christ and the Church, Christian married couples help one another to attain holiness in their married life and in the rearing of their children."

The council also said: "married love is an eminently human love because it is an affection between two persons rooted in the will and it embraces the good of the whole person; it can enrich the sentiments of the spirit and their physical expression with a unique dignity and ennoble them as the special elements and signs of the friendship proper to marriage. The Lord, wishing to bestow special gifts of grace and divine love on it, has restored, perfected, and elevated it. A love like that, bringing together the human and divine, leads the partners to free and mutual giving of self, experienced in tenderness and action, and permeates their whole lives; besides, this love is actually developed and increased by the exercise of it."

Because of the importance of marriage and the many challenges that married couples face in the modern world, the Chruch requires that couples who are planning to marry be propertly prepared.

Every Catholic should make himself or herself aware of diocesan regulations for marriage preparation, which may in a given diocese take up to six months, or even longer.

Couples will also be invited to plan the actual wedding ceremony.

Among the books available for this purpose, one that many people have found helpful is Together for Life, by Joseph M. Champlin, a priest of the Diocese of Syracuse, New York. It is available in two paperback editions: for marriages within Mass or outside of Mass.

There are many choices available for prayers and Scripture readings. In my experience, some people have difficulty choosing a reading from the Old Testament unless they have some understanding of the biblical mind. Many young people are influenced by a "creeping fundamentalism." Also some translations do not take into consideration the changing meaning of the English word "man." One reading , for example, Genesis 1:26-28, 31a, gives a different impression when translated, "Let us make man in our image: (traditional) or "Let us make humankind in our image" NRSV ("human beings" REB and GNB).

In my view, no one has translated the wisdom books of the Bible as well as Monsignor Ronald Knox. Here is his translation of the Song of Songs 2:8-10, 14, 16a; 8:6-7a, one of the Old Testament readings suggested for weddings:

A Reading from the Song of Songs

The voice I love!
See how he comes, 
how he speeds over the mountains, 
how he spurns the hills!
Gazelle nor fawn was ever so fleet of foot as my heart's love.

And now he is standing
on the other side of this very wall;
now he is looking in 
through each window in turn,
peering through every chink.

I can hear my true love
calling to me:
Rise up,
rise up quickly, dear heart,
so gentle, so beautiful,
rise up and come with me.

Rouse thee and come,
so beautiful,
so well beloved,
still hiding thyself
as a dove hides in cleft rock
or crannied wall.

Shew me by thy face,
let me but hear thy voice,
that voice sweet as thy face is fair.

All mine, my true love,
and I all his.
He said to me:
Hold me close to thy heart,
close as locket
or bracelet fits;
not death itself 
is so strong as love.
The torch that lights it 
is a blaze of fire

Yes, love is a fire
no waters avail to quench,
no floods to drown.

Although there are many excellent readings from the New Testament on marriage and Christian love, many couples choose 1 Corinthians 12:31-13:8a.

There is no clear favorite Gospel passage, but many couples choose Matthew 19:3-6, which asserts the indissolubility of marriage.

The favorite nuptial blessing, in my experience, is the first, which says, in paragraphs 4 thorugh 6:

Look with love upon this woman, your daughter,
now joined to her husband in marriage.
She asks your blessing.
Give her the grace of love and peace.

May she alwasy follow the example of the holy women
whose praises are sung in the Scriptures.

May her husband put his trust in her and recognize that she is his equal 
and the heir with him to the life of grace.
May he always honor her and lover her as Christ loves his bride, the Church.